Now this is some crazy shit! I thought that Steve Erwin (The Crocodile Hunter) was one in a billion to be killed by the stingray. Obviously though these things are nothing to trifle with.

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This spotted eagle stingray flew out of the water in the Florida Keys and struck a woman riding in the boat, knocking her over and likely killing her on contact, according to a state official.

MARATHON, Fla. - A 75-pound stingray killed a Michigan woman yesterday when it flew out of the water and struck her face as she rode in a boat in the Florida Keys, officials said.

Judy Kay Zagorski, of Pigeon, Mich., was sitting in the front seat of a boat going 25 miles per hour when the spotted eagle ray, with a wingspan of 5 to 6 feet, leaped out of the water, said Jorge Pino, spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

The 57-year-old woman’s father was driving the boat on the Atlantic Ocean side of Vaca Key, Pino said.

“He had absolutely no warning,” Pino said. “It just happened instantaneously.”

The collision knocked Zagorski backward onto the floor of the boat, Pino said.

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This makes my day! What the F*** are these two doing??? Protecting, and serving!! I wont get into it too much, but don’t little kids get into trouble for “holding hands” in school now a days? Yet these two fine upstanding Cops are holding hands while on duty. Funny shit if you ask me!

Ok, truthfuly, I think someone got a little crazy with Photoshop, and really didn’t even do that good of a job. But it’s still funny shit!

Kicked in the nuts for the fifth time!

This is one of the most stupid videos I have ever seen in my life. It is so stupid and silly that it becomes funny if you can believe that. Even though I could not make it all the way through it, you are welcome to try.

So who is this girl really?

Well, she can be your next door nieghbor

or the the preachers wife

This is pretty cool, radical makeover picture gallery using only one model. This one girl goes through many transformations looking like dozens of different people from a teenage girl, to elderly lady.

[Show as slideshow]

Makes me glad I was not born a bug, however, I would get way more rest

The sun is coming up and I, Ralph Roach, hate light. I think I’ll camp out in one of my favorite places: under the dark toaster.
Goodnight, diary. Your pal, Ralph

its 7AM and Yowch! Someone toasts a bagel and wakes me out of my quiet slumber. Gotta get away from the noise and heat. I barely escape with my life as an angry human tries to swat me with a newspaper. A mad dash along the counter, a sharp turn down the side of the fridge. Ahhh, peace at last. A small dust bunny blows under the fridge. I check it out with an antenna. No biggie. Back to sleep.

3 pm. Tragedy!
The boy comes home from school. He yanks open the fridge, grabs a soda and spills a half gallon of milk. Me and my roach pals have to scurry before we drown in this growing lake. On our way to safety, the cat catches Clifford, my brother. I can’t even stop to give him a proper burial. Luckily, I escape into a thin crack where the floor and cabinet meet. It’s a tight squeeze, but I make it. Whew, my sides hurt from breathing so hard.

I’m getting hungry. It’s still too light out though, can’t risk it.

8PM My stomach is growling like crazy! I think it’s dark enough to look for food. Just when things seem safe: POW! The woman turns on the kitchen light. Two more pals get squashed. This has been a rough day for roaches. I make a dash for cover behind the cookbook shelf. I’m staying

Boy, something smells good. Patience, Ralph, patience.
Good thing these humans are such slobs! They left the dishes in the sink (barely scraped) and crumbs everywhere. Best of all, the lid on the trash can is loose. Can you say party time?!

12AM It’s lights off as the humans go out. One wave of my antennae tells me there is some good grub around. I’m even getting a whiff of some delicious rancid milk. Time to venture forth. Yup, I was right! I meet up with some family and friends already at work on the garbage can. We all eat gobs of chicken skin, take sips of old beer, and finish off with rotting peach skins. I’d give this meal five stars!

3AM I’m stuffed. I barely make it up to my bed on top of a kitchen cabinet. This is a great place to smell everything going on, especially any cute female that may be interested in a male cockroach like myself. Here I am, ladies!
I’m still here, girls. Where are you?

Disaster again! When the humans get home, they flip on a light and discover hundreds of my pals feasting on the trash. Boy, can humans scream! They zapped a bunch of roaches with some nasty spray. I miss out on a direct hit, but the poison leaves me dizzy. I barely make it to behind the stove.

I think I smell a hot babe, but it may just be the bug spray. I’m going to find a new hiding place. Off to behind the recycling bin.
I see the sun peeking into the kitchen. Time for bed.
its 6AM so Goodnight, diary.
Love, Ralph