Poor Joe Francis, Girls Gone Wild fame. He just can’t seem to stay clear of any scandals these days. Hey, anytime a politician gets caught with a hooker, just throw his name in from the start. Chances are he probably already has nudie photos of her from when she was a easy, breast-barring underaged girl.Ho Gone Wild and shaking her ass all the way to the bank of political scandal. Here is a video of Ashley Dupre AKA Ashley DiPierto AKA Kristen… now better known as Spitzer’s whore.

Who would have thunk it… It seems Martha Stewart just amazes poor middle East workers with her… forks.

March 21, 2008
Martha Stewart living from middle east diaries

One of the best parts of staying in this particular hotel in Baghdad is the first-floor cafeteria — not because of the food (it’s horrendous), but because of the irreverent, hilarious guys from Sadr City and Doura who work behind the counter.

They’re dirt-poor, they pull double shifts several times a week and one of them has a bullet wound on his chest that’s a reminder of the harsh lives they lead once they clock out and return to their violent neighborhoods. And yet, for five years and counting, they’ve retained a mischievous humor and warm camaraderie that transcends their disparate faiths, sects and political beliefs. When the overbearing manager isn’t around, the workers crack themselves up by answering room-service calls in menacing tones: “Interior Ministry. Who are you and what do you want?”

I had an hour to kill before the morning meeting today, so I went downstairs to have breakfast with them. They had the door to the courtyard open and a refreshing breeze aired out the stale dining area that looks to have been last renovated sometime in the early 1980s. It was 9 a.m. on a Friday morning, like a lazy Sunday in the States, so they didn’t expect any customers until much later.

I found them smearing processed cheese on yesterday’s hard leftover bread as they gathered around a suspended TV set to watch Martha Stewart’s talk show, which was broadcast with Arabic subtitles. They oohed and ahhed over Martha’s sample autumn table, laid out with sparkling crystal and a centerpiece of pumpkins and gourds.

“What’s that orange thing?” a waiter asked. I couldn’t recall the Arabic word for pumpkin, so I just said it was a really big squash.

They followed the subtitles as Martha explained how you arrange silverware from the outside in, salad fork and then dinner fork and so on.

“Why do Americans need so many forks?” one of the guys asked me. Beats me, I told him.

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Top Ten Eliot Spitzer Excuses for the Ashley Duprey / DiPierto / Kristen… whatever her name is… top hooker

David Letterman

March 10, 2008

10. Oh come on, like you were never involved in a prostitution ring.

9. Hookers is fun.

8. Just trying to help the economy.

7. Have you ever been to Albany?
6. It’s part of my new MTV prank show “Spitz’d”

5. Haven’t been myself since Roy Schieder died.

4. Uh, tainted beef?

3. Whether it’s a hooker or your wife, you’re always paying for it — you married fellas know what I’m talking about.

2. Wanted to be known as the Charlie Sheen of politics.

1. I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer announced Wednesday that he is resigning, completing a spectacular fall from power for a politician whose once-promising career imploded amid allegations that he paid thousands of dollars for high-end prostitutes.

“I look at my time as governor with a sense of what might have been,” Spitzer said, with his expressionless wife Silda standing at his side. “There is much more to be done, and I cannot allow my private failings to disrupt the people’s work.”

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (C) leaves after a news conference November 14, 2007 on Capitol Hill in Washington about his controversial plan to issue driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants. Spitzer dropped the plan due to overwhelming opposition to the policy stating, “I’ve concluded that New York state cannot conduct this program on its own.” REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

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I guess the New York times had to apologize for this optical illusion featuring Pope Benedict XVI. Is it really an Optical Illusion or is GOD actually trying to say something about the Catholic church by way of some obscure picture. Hmmm… guess we’ll never know for sure now.

Knowing celebrities take much better mug shots than the average joe, can you pick out the Hollywood stars from the criminals below?

[Show as slideshow]

Everytime we see a Hollywood star in a mug shot, they seem to look great. So why is that so and how do the rest of us achieve the same goal.

lets check it out and answer this question once and for all… Why do the Hollywood stars take such great mug shots when the rest of America does not?

lets do a small comparison

So we have the Paris Hilton Mugshot above and we have “unknown woman who likes to party” Who looks better? hmm, thats a no brainer there. But the question and answer here is simple. The girl at the bottom could not manage her time well. She learned how to party hard, and just did not have the time to figure out how to do the hair and makeup while partying. Paris on the other hand has it down…. She does her hair and makeup before she goes out partying, that way she gets the great mug shot if she gets busted at the party. So for our first comparison, it comes down to who can manage thier time better.

Mel Gibson and unknown “non alcoholic”

So why does Mel look like he is posing for the cover of GQ and Mr “I am not an alcoholic” looks plain hungover?

Now these 2 are great to compare, both have the gel in the hair thing going and the “right eyebrow raised” pose (our left). But Mel is the winner here for sure.

Again, this may come down to always being ready to take a photo and practice. Mel has put gel in his hair, as did boy # 2, but Mel took the time to make sure it was perfect and even has that tiny bit of bangs set over his forehead just right. Mel also has the pose down, while boy #2 seems to be struggling with it a bit.

Also keep in mind that Hollywood stars always have that “I just called my lawyer and will be outa here any second” smirk, Yep, a smile always makes you look cool.

So what did we learn from all this, well probably not much other than… If you want a great mug shot like the stars always:

1. do your hair and makeup before commiting a crime (just in case you do get arrested)

2. Smile… unless your teeth got knocked out during the arrest or you have that infamous “meth mouth“. If the latter is true, a smirk will do just fine.