Top Ten Eliot Spitzer Excuses for the Ashley Duprey / DiPierto / Kristen… whatever her name is… top hooker

David Letterman

March 10, 2008

10. Oh come on, like you were never involved in a prostitution ring.

9. Hookers is fun.

8. Just trying to help the economy.

7. Have you ever been to Albany?
6. It’s part of my new MTV prank show “Spitz’d”

5. Haven’t been myself since Roy Schieder died.

4. Uh, tainted beef?

3. Whether it’s a hooker or your wife, you’re always paying for it — you married fellas know what I’m talking about.

2. Wanted to be known as the Charlie Sheen of politics.

1. I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer announced Wednesday that he is resigning, completing a spectacular fall from power for a politician whose once-promising career imploded amid allegations that he paid thousands of dollars for high-end prostitutes.

“I look at my time as governor with a sense of what might have been,” Spitzer said, with his expressionless wife Silda standing at his side. “There is much more to be done, and I cannot allow my private failings to disrupt the people’s work.”

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (C) leaves after a news conference November 14, 2007 on Capitol Hill in Washington about his controversial plan to issue driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants. Spitzer dropped the plan due to overwhelming opposition to the policy stating, “I’ve concluded that New York state cannot conduct this program on its own.” REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

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